Mind Your Autistic Brain with Social Autie

by Carole Jean Whittington, January 25, 2022 A large part of #lateidentifiedlife is recognizing and processing past trauma.  This is far from a linear process.  There is no direct path from A to Z. Throw alexithymia into the mix and you have a whole other experience on this trauma path.  The delayed realizations that hit you out of what feels like nowhere.  You have one conversation and one phrase or feeling unlocks a cascade of other past experiences and emotions you never noticed before.  All of a sudden past events come flooding in for you to make sense of and process. Days later you are beginning to notice that there were relationships and people who treated you very badly and who hurt you, but you did not realize it at the time.  You were in survival mode as an unidentified autistic.                             ______________________________________________________ Often the fear of rejection dominates our thoughts and we experience that emotional hurt as a deeply physical pain. 

  Did you reflect on the question from yesterday, “Do you believe that how you spend your morning tells you what kind of day you are going to have?” Most people never stop to consider this fully.  What were your thoughts on this, is it true for you or not true for you? The answer lies in your reflection.  It is both true and false simultaneously and wholly based on what you agree to believe.  There is a belief that high levels of cortisol are bad and because it is often called the “stress hormone” it means, by our interpretation that it is bad for us. However, cortisol is in reality good for us, necessary and serves us well.  ************************************************************  Here are a few examples of how cortisol serves us and is beneficial when it is in balance: -Cortisol is part of our internal alarm system and when we are under threat or pressure cortisol is released to allow our fight or flight response to be at the ready to keep us safe. -Normal levels of cortisol are

This week I  discussed ADHD vs ASD in a video on Tuesday as well as the role Eating, Alexithymia and Autism play in our daily lives and had a great conversation on the Talk Show with my friend Stephanie yesterday. In each of these topics there was “A Fork in the Road” figuratively speaking.  And as I used that phrase in the photo above, I laughed because I could only visually imagine a literal fork in the road.  Maybe you did too. LOL.  (did you catch my joke in the image?) I was identified as having ADHD in my 20’s after first  going through the horror show of a misdiagnosis of bi-polar and the awful things those medications did to my brain and body. Finally, in my 39th year on this Earth, I was fortunate enough to be identified by a neuropsychologist as being Autistic.  This was a blessing and where the fork in the road appeared in my life  I originally thought I was JUST ADHD and that even though it didn’t explain everything, that was me.  Then NEW information about myself came into

 by Carole Jean Whittington Friendships happen in our lives for… A reason A Season, or A Lifetime. I learned this AFTER the heartbreaking loss of a friendship I valued deeply.  I thought I had done something wrong, but had NO IDEA what it was.  I felt AWFUL! I cried until my eyes swelled.  I questioned and even screamed into my pillow, “WHY??!!!”  I thought I was this person’s best friend because she was mine.  I thought she loved me.  I thought I was important to her.  I thought we would be best friends and be close FOREVER.  I was wrong, but not for the reasons I originally thought. On your late identified, autism journey you will find that as you grow and change, learn more about who you are, and begin living a more authentically autistic life, not everyone who is in your life today will be a part of your life moving forward and that is OK.  There is a reason or a season for this person’s friendship and it has value in your life even if it isn’t for a lifetime. Learn what I wish I h

  To feel like the REAL you, does it only require removing a mask?  Burnouts are most often caused due to all the energy that you expend keeping the right mask on for the right situation.  It is exhausting and often leads to feelings of disconnect, isolation and not feeling like anyone really knows you or understands you.   You may be on a mission to unmask right now and you are slowly lowering your guard and experimenting with showing up in the world as the real you.  It feels freeing and exciting to stim or to not make eye contact every second of a conversation with someone.  In those small moments where you are letting your mask down you feel that sense of reclaiming yourself and your place in the world. But you are only uncovering what is a big, glaring difference in your current awareness that is in contrast to the mask you have been wearing. Unmasking, as a late identified autistic, is only one component in aligning your external and internal worlds.  More often than not, when yo

  Chances are your answer is no, just like mine was. In the novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, the main character, Dorian, lives two very different lives in physical reflection.  One life is his outer body which remains young and attractive, and the other is his portrait which ages and reflects all the external happenings instead of his actual outward appearance.  Dorian remains young and handsome on the outside, while his portrait does not. I don't compare this in the strictest sense, but rather as a way to convey how I perceive autistic masking and how it manifests in both the physical exterior and the internal worlds of an individual. I didn't even know what Autistic Masking was even after the first few years of knowing I was autistic.  It is a term that you learn and become familiar with after you get into the autistic community. The definition of "Social Masking" as it is discussed in the psychology and Autism world is: Masking  is a process in w