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5 Tips How To Identify a TRUSTWORTHY Person, Relationships for AUtistics Part 4, TRUE Connection

 

Corner 4 relationships are about finding the person who embodies those true connection traits but where to even begin is the hardest and scariest part. The first step is to find someone who is trustworthy, but that isn’t always easy for us as Autistics. Today, I am going to give you a quick overview of a true connection relationship and then I’m going to teach you the 5 ingredients and tools you need to solve that first hard step in deciding if the person you are considering is even trustworthy. Stick around to the end where I’ll tell you the secret to finding that true connection relationship.

A true connection as defined by Dr. Cloud in his book, The Power of the Other, you can find a link to his book in the description below, is this:

“One in which you can be your whole self, the real, authentic you, a relationship to which you can bring your heart, mind, soul, and passion. Both parties to the relationship are wholly present, known, understood, and mutually invested. What each truly thinks, feels, believes, fears and needs can be shared safely.”

Corner 4 connection 6 benefits:

  1. Connection that fuels

  2. Connection that gives freedom

  3. Connection that takes the scary out of failure and learning

  4. Connection that challenges and pushes

  5. Connection that builds structure

  6. Connection that unites instead of divides


Corner 4 connection 2 requirements:

  1. Connection that requires responsibility

  2. Connection that requires trust


TRUST:

To make an investment in anyone, trust is paramount.  Trust is defined as a confident expectation.


Trust is valued and everyone can feel when it’s not there.  It’s often hard to get clear on what trust is made of.  We don’t always know how to clearly identify trust or know who to trust.  Here are the 5 ingredients to clarify and identify someone who is trustworthy:


  1. Understanding

  2. Intent or motive

  3. Ability

  4. Character

  5. Track record


Understanding- we trust people who we know understand us.  They listen.

  • Do you feel you are being listened to and understood?


Intent and Motive- We trust people we know want the best for us.

  • What’s driving them in this relationship?  


Ability- We trust people we know have the ability to do what needs to be done.

  • Do they have the abilities to be in this relationship? 


Character- Character is “the way someone thinks, feels and behaves: someone’s personality.”  We trust people who show us who they are in their character.

Character traits beyond honesty and ethics: Are they optimistic or pessimistic? Pro Active or passive? Do they persevere and solve problems when things get difficult? Are they too soft for what you need? Too hard? Too Rigid? Too impulsive? Too paralyzed by fear or failure? Compassionate? Kind? Fun? Resilient? Forgiving? 


Track Record- We trust people who show us what we can expect.

Look at the whole history, not just the most recent event.   The best predictor of the future is the past, unless there is something new and different in the present.  Science has proven that we have the ability to change.  Who we are today isn’t who we were yesterday.


Here is the secret to finding your true connection relationship:  


Check your internal GPS: 

  1. Where are you: Are you lonely in corner one? Are you feeling bad in corner two? Are you experiencing a fleeting thrill in corner three?
  2. Which corner are you in and who is in this corner with you?
When you answer these questions you have uncovered where you are and that knowledge is the secret to get you to your true connection relationship. You know where you want to go and that’s corner 4 and now you know how to identify a trustworthy person to begin taking that journey into creating that true connection relationship with. That will change your life forever.

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Video, Relationships Part 4



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