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Showing posts from 2021

If you are Autistic & ADHD waking up to a pile of dirty laundry SUCKS! Join me for a HACK to make this easier.

  Did you reflect on the question from yesterday, “Do you believe that how you spend your morning tells you what kind of day you are going to have?” Most people never stop to consider this fully.  What were your thoughts on this, is it true for you or not true for you? The answer lies in your reflection.  It is both true and false simultaneously and wholly based on what you agree to believe.  There is a belief that high levels of cortisol are bad and because it is often called the “stress hormone” it means, by our interpretation that it is bad for us. However, cortisol is in reality good for us, necessary and serves us well.  ************************************************************  Here are a few examples of how cortisol serves us and is beneficial when it is in balance: -Cortisol is part of our internal alarm system and when we are under threat or pressure cortisol is released to allow our fight or flight response to be at the ready to keep us safe. -Normal levels of cortisol are

The Blessings of “The Fork in the Road”- ADHD vs ASD

This week I  discussed ADHD vs ASD in a video on Tuesday as well as the role Eating, Alexithymia and Autism play in our daily lives and had a great conversation on the Talk Show with my friend Stephanie yesterday. In each of these topics there was “A Fork in the Road” figuratively speaking.  And as I used that phrase in the photo above, I laughed because I could only visually imagine a literal fork in the road.  Maybe you did too. LOL.  (did you catch my joke in the image?) I was identified as having ADHD in my 20’s after first  going through the horror show of a misdiagnosis of bi-polar and the awful things those medications did to my brain and body. Finally, in my 39th year on this Earth, I was fortunate enough to be identified by a neuropsychologist as being Autistic.  This was a blessing and where the fork in the road appeared in my life  I originally thought I was JUST ADHD and that even though it didn’t explain everything, that was me.  Then NEW information about myself came into

Friendships on the Spectrum: A Reason, A Season or a Lifetime

 by Carole Jean Whittington Friendships happen in our lives for… A reason A Season, or A Lifetime. I learned this AFTER the heartbreaking loss of a friendship I valued deeply.  I thought I had done something wrong, but had NO IDEA what it was.  I felt AWFUL! I cried until my eyes swelled.  I questioned and even screamed into my pillow, “WHY??!!!”  I thought I was this person’s best friend because she was mine.  I thought she loved me.  I thought I was important to her.  I thought we would be best friends and be close FOREVER.  I was wrong, but not for the reasons I originally thought. On your late identified, autism journey you will find that as you grow and change, learn more about who you are, and begin living a more authentically autistic life, not everyone who is in your life today will be a part of your life moving forward and that is OK.  There is a reason or a season for this person’s friendship and it has value in your life even if it isn’t for a lifetime. Learn what I wish I h

To Feel Like the REAL You does it only require removing a mask? Unmasking isn't the whole solution is it?

  To feel like the REAL you, does it only require removing a mask?  Burnouts are most often caused due to all the energy that you expend keeping the right mask on for the right situation.  It is exhausting and often leads to feelings of disconnect, isolation and not feeling like anyone really knows you or understands you.   You may be on a mission to unmask right now and you are slowly lowering your guard and experimenting with showing up in the world as the real you.  It feels freeing and exciting to stim or to not make eye contact every second of a conversation with someone.  In those small moments where you are letting your mask down you feel that sense of reclaiming yourself and your place in the world. But you are only uncovering what is a big, glaring difference in your current awareness that is in contrast to the mask you have been wearing. Unmasking, as a late identified autistic, is only one component in aligning your external and internal worlds.  More often than not, when yo

Did You Even Know You Had Been "Masking" for Decades? Autistic Masking and The Picture of Dorian Gray- Reflections on Similarities

  Chances are your answer is no, just like mine was. In the novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, the main character, Dorian, lives two very different lives in physical reflection.  One life is his outer body which remains young and attractive, and the other is his portrait which ages and reflects all the external happenings instead of his actual outward appearance.  Dorian remains young and handsome on the outside, while his portrait does not. I don't compare this in the strictest sense, but rather as a way to convey how I perceive autistic masking and how it manifests in both the physical exterior and the internal worlds of an individual. I didn't even know what Autistic Masking was even after the first few years of knowing I was autistic.  It is a term that you learn and become familiar with after you get into the autistic community. The definition of "Social Masking" as it is discussed in the psychology and Autism world is: Masking  is a process in w

What is Possible After Autism Identification as an Adult

 What is Possible After Autism Identification as an Adult by Carole Jean Whittington There are so many things that I have learned about myself since finding out 7 years ago, at the age of 39, that I am autistic and ADHD.  This past year has been a Quantum Leap year for me in my Neurodiverse journey and not in the ways I ever could have expected. I never expected to: get hit with a PTSD flashback and for once not freeze, panic and spiral down a dark mental hole. move cross country for the second time in a year only to arrive and go through one of the most crippling burnouts I've ever experienced, but was able to recover in a matter of a few weeks vs the years all the other ones took. have those thoughts of suicide pop up when I'm tired or not feeling well and be in a place where I can just observe them and not feel the need to overthink and shame myself but rather allow them to flow through me like water and watch as they move away. I wasn't sure how to best share what I hav

Too Many Questions

Too many Questions by Sam Huber of Huber Family Adventure on Instagram When I was six I went to Sunday School for about a minute.  I remember being stuffed into a little ex-broom closet with six other kids and a boney old teacher.  She looked like something out of a "Little House on the Prairie" novel, with her pale-colored dress buttoned up to the neck and tight gray hair bun.  The smell of old chalk from the board hung in the tiny room like dust in an old ghost story.  The teacher would sit us in a circle, then open a half moth-eaten book and start to read a story to us. One day, it was the story of Noah and the Ark, and she go to the point where he was loading all the animals onto the ship.  "How did he keep the fish alive on the boat- did he have fish tanks?" I asked.  "Sam, they just stayed in the water," said the teacher.  She turned the page before I asked her, "What did Noah feed the animals?"  "God provided Noah with the animals'