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Reconnecting with Your Partner-Relationships on the Spectrum


Self-quarantining has led to a LOT of TOGETHERNESS and often when we have been in a relationship for awhile it is easy to get frustrated with not having some personal space. As Autistics, we need that alone time, that quiet time to re-energize and recharge from too much sensory input like constant sound. It can also lead to being disconnected from your partner because they are physically there and your only escape is to be inside your head. You get in your own routines which may include routines you are in together, like eating a meal. Routines are great and they help us in many ways but they can also be hurting us when they lead us to a place of disconnect. Disconnect happens more easily I think for us as autistics because we seek to find that quiet place of rest and changing from one state of being to another is difficult so we stay where we are comfortable and where change is not making us stressed. I know that I fall into this and have become aware that I need to be more aware of when it happens because too much isolation is just as harmful to my mental and emotional health as is not having sufficient isolation to recharge my batteries.
If you are in a relationship and looking for ways to reconnect and create some space that includes both of you actively sharing your space with one another check out this great practice for couples from The Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley.
Let us know what you try and how it goes. My partner and I do a date night where we take time to not just go somewhere but to do a project or a learning experience together. We take turns choosing something to teach the other person sometimes too which has really been fun. I taught him to paint and he taught me how to build a cabinet door. LOL I know it sounds odd but that in itself made it fun because it was unusual.

Check out the Podcast episode from The Science of Happiness, link below and the Couples Practice.

Podcast LINK:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/how_to_reconnect_with_your_partner

Couples Practice LINK:
https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/exciting_activities_for_couples

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